A retelling that isn’t about the whale
The story of Jonah and the whale is familiar in popular culture and is even referenced secularly. Jonah and the whale (or “big fish”) are depicted in the Hebrew Bible (Christian Old Testament) as well as the Quran of Islam.
How highly Jonah is regarded as a prophet depends on who you ask. In the Christian Scriptures, Jonah’s time in the belly of the big fish is relayed by Jesus in relation to the Son of Man’s own three-day story yet to come. Islam regards Jonah as one of the highest prophets, always steadfast in his devotion to God (Allah).
In the Hebrew Scriptures, the book of Jonah is a short adventure story between the other prophet writings of the Nevi’im. Jonah’s prophecy involves the fall of a city, Nineveh. On the way, Jonah spends three days in the belly of a big fish, which is often a whale in art.
You can read the short Book of Jonah for yourself in the Jewish, Christian, or Islam texts.
Below is my retelling of Jonah’s story, with some creative license taken.
(I didn’t exaggerate a whole lot, honestly. Read it for yourself or compare my story to the verses I notate.)
A Retelling of Jonah: The Angsty Teenage Prophet
There once was a teenage boy named Jonah. Not much is known about Jonah, except that he was your typical teenager. He liked to sleep in and rage against authority. Anything his parents told him to do was b-o-r-i-n-g.
One day, God speaks to Jonah and tells him to deliver a message to the people of Nineveh. Jonah literally can’t even. “Really dude?” he snaps back, rolling his eyes. “Nineveh? Those guys suck.”
You see, Jonah was a Jew, living in Israel. Nineveh was the capital of the Assyrian empire. All his life, Jonah despised the people who invaded his homeland. And now the Big Guy just wants him to up and leave his home to warn them?
“I don’t think so,” says Jonah. So he runs off to the sea and boards a ship with some sailors (Jonah 1:3). In typical teenage logic, he determines that God, the omniscient, can’t find him if he’s in the middle of the ocean.
Spoiler alert: God finds Jonah. Seeing Jonah’s futile attempts at running, God sends a storm to rock the ship. All of the sailors on board drop to their knees and pray to their respective deities. They repent, apologize, beg, and plead for mercy. “Please don’t drown us! We will be better!”
Meanwhile, Jonah is chilling on a bunk below deck, and could literally not care less (1:5). Eventually, all the sailors determine that it isn’t their fault a storm is raging and the ship is about to capsize. All eyes turn to Jonah (1:7).
Jonah begrudgingly gets up from his cot, flicks his head back to get his hair out of his eyes, and sighs. “You right,” he tells the sailors. “It’s my fault. I’m the cause of all this. You can just kill me now” (1:12).
The sailors, some of whom probably have hormonal teenagers of their own back home, hesitate. If the storm doesn’t cease, they all might die. But sacrifice this moody teenager to the depths of the sea? That seems a little harsh.
“Why don’t you just repent? Apologize? Ask your God what you can do to stop this storm before we all die,” the sailors say to Jonah. But Jonah knows exactly what God wants him to do, and he doesn’t want to do it.
“Seriously, guys, just kill me now,” Jonah repeats. Quiet falls on the deck. The sailors all eye each other, asking silently, are we really about to do this?
The sailors try everything else they can think of, with no luck. So they pray to the Lord to not hold it against them — and then they throw the angsty teenage Jonah overboard (1:13–15).
Jonah realizes the water is a little colder than he expected and thinks, well this sucks. But, at least things will be over soon. Until along comes a big fish, and swallows him up (1:17).
Now Jonah is sitting in the damp and humid belly of a fish, perfectly safe, no end to his misery in sight. “Well now, this really sucks,” Jonah complains, out loud, to no one.
Finally, after considering he might be spending the rest of his miserable life in this fish, Jonah decides it might be time to repent.
“I screwed up, but I will do better,” Jonah says to the Lord (2:4).
God, satisfied the teenager has learned his lesson, commands the fish to spit Jonah up on dry land.
Now God reminds Jonah about Nineveh and the message he is to deliver there (3:1).
Jonah goes into town and tells everyone, “God sent me to tell you your city will be destroyed because you guys are the worst and have done bad things.” Then Jonah goes outside the city, up onto a hill, so he has a nice spot to view the hellfire that is about to reign down on this crappy town.
Except the people believe him (3:5)! Immediately, everyone — even the king — humble themselves by fasting and stripping off their nice clothes to wear potato sacks (3:6). They repent and give up their evil ways immediately.
“What the actual…” Jonah says to himself as he watches. And sure enough, God spares Ninevah (3:10) — no hellfire.
Is Jonah delighted he is able to save these people? Of course not. After all that God put him through, he was at least hoping to get to watch some utter chaos and destruction. Now that would have been cool!
But nooooo, Jonah thinks to himself sardonically, now I’m stuck in this stupid place and it’s really friggin’ HOT here!
He kicks the ground with a huff and drops into the sand, putting his head between his legs. He’s not sitting there even a minute when he starts complaining again.
“I knew this was going to happen Lord — of course, you saved them! Did I really have to leave home for this? Please just kill me now!” (4:1–3)
God, knowing how teenagers can be, decides to give Jonah a little reprieve. A nice shady bush grows up from the desert and provides Jonah with some shade. But the next day, God takes the bush away.
“Seriously, you took my bush, the one thing I had?” Jonah flips his hair out of his eyes and once again says, “just kill me now!” (4:5–8)
God calmly asks Jonah, “is it worth getting this mad about a little bush?”
“Uhm, yeah dude!” Jonah says. “I’m so angry I’d literally rather be dead.” (4:9)
God, amazingly patient, tries to make this into a learning opportunity for Jonah.
“You didn’t even have this bush before. I gave it to you, and you only had it for a day, but now it’s gone and you want to die? You care that much for this bush?” Jonah rolls his eyes and doesn’t say anything. “You care that much for this bush,” God continues, “an inanimate thing… Yet you don’t understand why I care about those people in Nineveh and didn’t want to destroy them?” (4:10–11).
Jonah literally doesn’t even care and is tired of God and his lessons. He just wants to go home, play Call of Duty, and hang out with his friends.
The lesson of Jonah
In the Bible, Jonah comes across as the most unwilling prophet. He runs from God, is saved from the ocean depths, delivers a message that reaches a king, saves an entire city, and still is just so unimpressed by the whole thing.
What a teenager, am I right?
The lesson of Jonah has been interpreted as a display of the power of God, that you cannot outrun Divine appointment, or the forgiving nature of God. For me, the real lesson comes in the final chapter, after Nineveh is saved and Jonah is downright pissed off.
“You love this little bush that much?” God says to Jonah. “Imagine how much more, then, I love humanity.”
Jonah 4:10-11
Jonah feels like his whole mission was futile. He left behind the safety and familiarity of his home, and in the end, God spared the city anyway. What was the point of delivering the message? God could have decided to just not smite the city or used someone who already lived there to deliver the message, and the result would have been the same! Why, Jonah seems to be asking, did it have to be me?
Isn’t it true in our own lives that we sometimes feel our work is futile? There is always someone better to do what we’re doing: someone more talented, with more money, with a bigger following, with more time. We sometimes feel like we’re the wrong person for the job. Or that no matter how hard we try, we’ll never accomplish what we set out to do.
For me, I can feel like I am running without getting anywhere. A lot of time and work added up to naught. I imagine that’s how Jonah felt — like it was all pointless.
But like Jonah, sometimes we can’t see the magnificence of what we’ve already accomplished. We compare ourselves to others who are further ahead. We long for a different life, or to live in a different time. Sometimes we get caught up on that sandy hill, angry at God (or ourselves) for how things are unfolding.
When we find ourselves in that spot, we have to stop and appreciate how far we’ve come. It isn’t about the destination — or the outcome. It’s about the journey that brought us to where we are.
At the end of the story, Jonah is only looking at the changes that occur outside of him — the sparing of the city. What was less apparent were the changes that occurred within Jonah. The story ends too soon, as we aren’t told what becomes of our angsty teenage prophet after God’s lesson of grace. But I imagine Jonah experiences humility, maybe finds some empathy for his enemies, or at least gains a new perspective.
Reading the last chapter, whether Nineveh rose or fell seems inconsequential. The point, God says, is that he loves all people. In a parental way, He tries to explain to a teenager what unconditional love is all about.
You love this little bush that much? God says to Jonah. Imagine how much more, then, I love humanity.
Sometimes we are so caught up in our own lives — what we have or don’t have — that we rage at the universe a little, too. In those times, it’s nice to remember that even the prophets struggled with their place in the universe.
Prophet or not, we are all unconditionally loved. And what we do does matter — whether we can see it at the time or not.